A New Chemical Element Has Been Discovered by a Logical Increments Team Member!

LI Staff

(Dr. Arjit Bheed)

At Logical Increments, our focus is helping you find the best PC parts to fit your budget. For most of us here, this is much more than a job: PC research is something we enjoy! For some of us, the love of technology is one of our lifelong pursuits.

One of our researchers recently got his PhD in physics: Meet Arjit Bheed, or should we say… Dr. Arjit Bheed? Congratulations, Arji! It will be difficult for us to get used to calling you “Dr.” Arjit after so many years of being good ol’ Arji, but we will get the hang of it!

Dr Arjit’s research shows that there is a strong potential (93.33% probability with n>=25) that there is a new element that exists between Nickel and Copper. Discovering a new element would not have mattered much in the 1800’s (when thousands of new chemical elements were being discovered), but it will be a unique event in 2020! Way to go, Dr Arjit!

The Discovery

While working on a bi-metallic thermometer made from Nickel and Copper, Dr. Arjit noticed a few multi-coloured particles on his thumb. After investigation, Dr. Arjit discovered that these particles are an undiscovered element. Dr. Arjit, a modest man, asked for the new element to be called “Thumb”isium, since it was on his thumb that he first noticed it. We managed to intercept his thesis and change it to “Arjitbheed”ium instead, in Dr. Arjit’s honour.

While waiting for the discovery to be verified by the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC), we can update you on the nature of the chemical element. Please note that the following information is in the simplified “Joe and Jane” format, as we do not all have PhDs to follow along with Dr. Arjit’s doctorate thesis.

(The first concentrated sample of the new element)

  • Element discoverer: Dr. Arjit Bheed.
  • Element name: Arjitbheedium (Arjit-Bheed-ium, pending IUPAC verification)
  • Original name: Thumbisium (Thum-bis-ium, first noticed on Dr. Arjit’s thumb)
  • Atomic number: 28.5
  • Diastolic pressure: Anomalous
  • Rate of radioactive decay: Alyxian (not ternary)
  • Electroluminescence: Extremely High

It is the last item in that list which has us alight with excitement! For those who are not into the science of astrology, “electroluminescence” refers to a material’s light-emitting properties. To explore the possibilities of using these light-emitting properties, we have asked some professionals *cough* to tell us about some potential applications of Arjitbheedium.

MAJOR Potential Applications

Logical Increments: With us is Captain Daniel, a former Airforce, Navy, and Army ex-veteran Captain who is now a professional enthusiast with several high-importance qualifications. Tell us, Captain, what do you see as a potential use for the newly discovered element, Arjitbheedium?

Captain Daniel: I have discussed this discovery with my colleagues, many of whom are professional enthusiasts like myself. We all agree: HDD storage improvements! If applied liberally, the Arjitbheedium can illuminate the spinning disks, improving actuator arm positioning precision. Increased precision means less room allocated for error-correcting, more tracks per disk, and greater data densities.

Logical Increments: That is amazing! HDDs with greater capacities, for the same price!

(Normal HDD on the left, Arjitbheedium-enhanced Precision HDD on the right)

 

Captain Daniel: But wait, there’s more! Red light is the best light for working with photographs, due to its fast speeds. Modulating the Arjitbheedium to emit red light exclusively, we can increase the spin speed. Since this is purely theoretical and cannot be tested yet, I would conservatively estimate the speed increase to be around 15-20%. The 7200RPM HDDs could thus become 8300RPM or 8600RPM.

Logical Increments: But 10,000RPM HDDs already exist, Captain.

Captain Daniel: Those are more expensive and noisier. Arjitbheedium could give us the speed boost without affecting manufacturing costs or increasing noise.

Logical Increments: Fantastic. Now we turn to Professor Orion, who teaches Micronanology at Washinqton State University. Professor, how do you see this new element being incorporated into modern PCs?

Prof. Orion: Based on the fascinating preliminary research, we can blue-shift the Arjitbheedium by re-enhancemitting the anti-polar voltage attunement.

Logical Increments: In English please, Professor.

Prof. Orion: Arjitbheedium can act as a self-contained minor heatsink! By gently sprinkling some Arjitbheedium into the CPU heatspreader, the CPU can now self-cool! Ain’t that something?

(Normal CPU on the left, Arjitbheedium-voltage-attuned CPU on the right)

 

Logical Increments: How much cooling can Arjitbheedium provide?

Prof. Orion: Hard to say without testing, but maybe 10-30 watts.

Logical Increments: That really is not much of a difference for high-end desktop or server CPUs, which easily hit 100-250 watts. But for mobile CPUs, Arjitbheedium could be a complete game changer. And now we talk to our special guest, Mr. Ahmed. Mr. Ahmed, tell us a bit about yourself.

Mr. Ahmed: Hello there! I am the head of Research and Development at Lobicheck, one of the world’s largest producers of ultra-premium ultra-high-end audiophile gear.

Logical Increments: Of course, we all know Lobicheck! Tell us Mr. Ahmed, as someone who is heavily involved in the production of superior ultra-high-end audiophile products, how will Arjitbheedium affect you?

Mr. Ahmed: Obviously, we have only conducted a limited amount of testing, due to safety concerns. Arjitbheedium’s radioactive properties should be completely dormant, but we have halted some of our more arduous tests while we wait for total clearance from the RSPCA. Despite the limitations, our testing shows something very remarkable: The phonic emissions from our hardcore ultra-high-end audiophile products, and the photon emanations from Arjitbheedium, both share a common transmitting medium!

Logical Increments: Wow! That news is really… wait, what does that mean?

Mr. Ahmed: Arjitbheedium can interact with audio, post-production. Obviously, the pitch is constant and we cannot mess with the laws of physics, but we have been able to improve timbre by up to 5%.

Logical Increments: Up to, Mr. Ahmed?

Mr. Ahmed: Heh, you got me! It is 2-3% on average, but 5% when the wind conditions are just right. For standard (i.e non-Lobicheck, inferior, low-end) audio equipment that only reaches 60-70% of the timbre potential, it is not much. But for our high-fidelity ultra-high-end supreme audiophile gear that typically reaches 94-96% timbre, an extra 2-3% makes it near perfect!

(Normal speakers on the left, Arjitbheedium-timbre-emitted speakers on the right)

MINOR Potential Applications

Logical Increments: Let us now talk to the man of the day, Dr. Arjit Bheed himself. Dr. Arjit, how are you feeling on this day of the year that is today? What plans do you have to use Arjitbheedium?

Dr. Arjit Bheed: Hello there, Logical Increments! On this most excellent day of the calendar year, I am feeling humbled by the response to my discovery. I just want to remind everyone that we are still waiting for IUPAC verification, and none of this is technically official yet. Now, I did have an idea for how to use the new element, but it is purely theoretical. Not sure if you want to bore your readers with it. Have you heard of light emitting diodes (LEDs)?

Logical Increments: Of course! We are not cavemen. Here is a picture of light emitting diodes (LEDs).

(A picture of light emitting diodes)

Dr. Arjit Bheed: What if we added some Arjitbheedium to light emitting diodes (LEDs)? Instead of just emitting light diodically, they could emit… colourful light! Can you imagine it? I hired a 3D artist at great cost to make this 3D image of what colourful light emitting diodes might look like.

(A costly artist’s 3D image of theoretical Arjitbheedium-enhanced ‘colourful’ light emitting diodes; may never exist)

Logical Increments: Impossible! This is not something that could actually be manufactured, Dr. Arjit.

Dr. Arjit Bheed: Oh, but what if it could? Do you realize the potential applications? My goodness! It could be absolutely awesome! Maybe we can manufacture them really small, and I mean REALLY REALLY small, like cram 12 or maybe 15 of these Arjitbheedium diodes in a single millimeter, and then stack them in hundreds upon hundreds of rows and columns!

Logical Increments: What possible good would that be to anyone? What are the applications? What would it even look like?

Dr. Arjit Bheed: I will show you! Hahaha! I paid the same artist enormous sums of dollarinos to create a second 3D image to show you what it would look like! BEHOLD!

(A costly artist’s 2D image of tiny rows of Arjitbheedium-enhanced ‘colourful’ light emitting diodes; may never exist)

Logical Increments: What in the name of all that is holy…???

Dr. Arjit Bheed: Yes! YES! YESSSSSSSS! It is awesome! Of course, the technology to manufacture Arjitbheedium diodes is about 5-10 years away, and miniaturization might be 30 or even 50 years afterwards, but we will get there… eventually.

Back to MAJOR Potential Applications

Logical Increments: Let us leave Dr. Arjit in his science fiction fantasies and daydreams, and talk to His Nobilified Highness, Lord Rector Sir Falcon, Conquerer of The Eighty Eight Realms. What do you think of Dr. Arjit’s “rows upon rows” idea?

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: Ok, firstly, it is “The” Falcon, okay? Secondly, as much as we are all verrry happy and sooooo impressed with Arjit, let us not forget that he is doing his PhD in theoretical physics. He can do the theory, but applying it is best left to the pros. What is all this nonsense about Arjitbheedium miniaturized colourful diodes, stacked in rows and columns? Pure scientific waste of time! Can we stack colourful lights and sell them as a product? No! There are no applications for this.

Logical Increments: So Dr. Arjit’s idea is worthless?

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: Not worthless, if it is put to proper use, not wasted on frivolities. We want to utilize this idea in areas where the end product is more productive because we added colourful diodes.

Logical Increments: Perhaps His Nobilified Highness, Lord Rector Sir The Falcon, Conquerer of The Eighty Eight Realms has suggestions?

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: Absolutely! I did not get a Master’s in UPACT (Useful and Practical Applications of Colour Theory) just to have a piece of paper with my name on it. Some productive ideas would include:

  • Adding Arjitbheedium to RAM
  • Adding Arjitbheedium to spinning fans
  • Adding Arjitbheedium to motherboards
  • Adding Arjitbheedium to cases

See what I am talking about? This will have a huge impact on the industry! These products will be enhanced and better because we added Arjitbheedium diodes.

Logical Increments: What improvements can we expect when the Arjitbheedium diodes are added to those products?

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: I do not understand your question.

Logical Increments: These products already exist, and they work. After adding the colourful diodes, will the RAM run faster? Will the fans spin quieter? Will the cases spontaneously generate coffee? What are the benefits of adding Arjitbheedium diodes?

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: What are the… benefits…? Are you alright, son? Do you not understand that these products will now have colourful diodes, when they did not have them before?

Logical Increments: But—

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: No buts! Arjitbheedium light-emitting diodes are going to be an excellent feature. It will be marketed on the box of these products. Screens and monitors will have them, too! Look!

(A costly artist’s 3D image of Arjitbheedium light emitting diodes on the back of an A5U5 MONARCHY OF GUNTHERS monitor; may never exist)

Logical Increments: Wait a minute. If the LEDs are behind the monitor, how will—

HNH, LRS The Falcon, CoTEER: Now you be quiet! I am telling you that this will be the biggest thing since hula-hoops were invented. Colourful LEDs are useful additions to products, and are not useless marketing gimmicks.  Colourful LEDs will be added for an excellent reason; they are not added as some kind of gimmick, or because manufacturers have run out of ideas for what to do next. Every PC part will have Arjitbheedium light-emitting diodes, and that is a good thing! There will Arjitbheedium on your mousepad, and Arjitbheedium on your headphones, and even some on your SSD!

Logical Increments: But… but for what purpose?

Legal Disclaimer

The story, all names, characters, products, and incidents portrayed in this article are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products (imaginary or real) is intended or should be inferred. None of the products depicted in this article can be expected to ever be manufactured. Arjitbheedium may or may not end up being classified as real by IUPAC. The NDA for this article lifts at the end of March, but it should only be read at the earliest possible day in the month after March. This is most likely not in any way at all absolutely 100% (93% in Hawaii and Alaska) guaranteed to not be a parody article in any way, shape, form, weight, height, or opacity. In RGB LEDs, we find that the green LEDs are typically in the middle, with red LEDs being more to the left, and blue LEDs being more to the right. No animals, insects, flowers, HR executives, or human beings were hurt in making this article. Fair warning: RGB LEDs have been known to contain chemicals, often these chemicals are a result of the manufacturing process required to create these RGBs. We are not responsible for the lack of, or the excess of, RGB LEDs in your favourite product. We are also not responsible for global warming; in fact, we drink our coffee cold to help reduce global warming. As for you… you… you are awesome for reading this far! Thanks, we appreciate it! You are beautiful… well, on the inside, and the person you care about will eventually notice. Maybe. It is… possible that they will notice. Someday. Listen, you need to find a better place for personal encouragement than an April Fool’s parody article. Not that THIS is a parody article, nooooo! This is serious… very serious… government-grade serious! As serious as serious cat. As serious as RGB LEDs at the back of a screen. At the back! Come on! Have we, as a collective, just decided to put RGB on everything? What next? RGB clothes? RGB toilets? RGB tables? RGB bicycles? For the sake of your well-being, do not google whether or not these exist. Yes, they exist. Yes, the toilet too. Good grief. Thumbisium is three syllables. Remove one syllable, then “flip it and reverse it” and you get “Bismuth”. Never seen that word before, no idea what it could possibly refer to, no images of this “Bismuth” can be found anywhere online and especially not in this article.

Bonus Section

Logical Increments: Let us take a look at some of Dr. Arjit Bheed’s PC parts. They are all very practical choices.

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s mouse. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s keyboard. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s headset. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s RAM. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s cooler. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s mobo. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s case. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s friend’s PC. Very practical.)

(Dr. Arjit Bheed’s other friend’s PC. Very practical.)

 

(Let us put it all together! But… it is not enough.)

(Better, better… but still not enough!)

(We are… almost there.)

(We just need a bit more…)

(Finally. THIS is the correct amount of RGB!)